Why is it that when you are in a crisis, everything seems to fall apart? Whether the car breaks down or the refrigerator stops working, doesn’t it seem like we should get a break on the minor irritations of life when we are in the midst of a tragedy?
Sometimes it is not just one painful experience but troubles can seem to multiply. It can seem like a conspiracy meant to destroy us. And we can feel beaten down and discouraged. We wonder if the sun is ever going to come out again. And despair sets in.
Sometimes we are not over one storm and another one is headed in our direction. A lot of times it doesn’t seem fair.
I feel that is how Job must have felt. Right in the middle of grieving over losing all of his property and all of his family he started having sores all over his body. From the top of his head to the soles of his feet, he was covered in itchy, infected sores.
Job cursed the day he was born. This godly man was honest and he admitted to His discouragement and despair.
I love how we can see the real Job here. He just seemed a little too perfect, but now we can see that he was hurt. It was transparent that he was angry, disappointed, and frustrated. He was honest about it to God and his complaining was bitter. But in return, God appreciated Job’s honesty. At the end of the book of Job, we discover that God commended Job for his honesty. Not only his honesty about his feelings but his honesty about God.
Job was so disheartened, he wanted to die.
Oh, that I might have my request, that God would grant my hope. I wish he would crush me. I wish he would reach out his hand and kill me. Job 6:8-9
Then he adds this:
At least I can take comfort in this: Despite the pain, I have not denied the words of the Holy One. Job 6:10
Even through indescribable and unspeakable pain Job found comfort knowing he had not denied God’s word. He did not turn away from God.
It can feel like there is absolutely nothing to ease or take away the pain. People ask what they can do for us, but we know that there is really nothing anyone can do to make the hurting go away. However, if they didn’t ask we would be more hurt. It can be very tempting to just give up and stop praying. After Luke died, even though I still had faith, I felt so numb. I prayed but it was more like a ritual, there was no feeling. And it is just now slowly returning. I felt and still feel sometimes as though I just “exist” and every motion or need beyond that seems nearly impossible. During these vulnerable times, Satan wants to put terrible thoughts in our heads like, “ why would you keep praying?, “ what good does it do anyway?”.
Sometimes what God has allowed into our lives is so bitter that we are hurt and angry and we don’t even want to talk about it. Some turn to alcohol and drugs or other sources to try to numb the pain.
But where does that leave us? Dangerously, on our own. No resources, no truth to dispel the despair, no hope.
The truth is, there is no comfort to be found away from God. Well at least, not lasting, deep, satisfying comfort will be found except through our Savior, Jesus Christ. He is the only way. Anything else we turn to will only bring temporary relief. God is bigger than our grief or any problem with are facing. Only the truth of God’s Word, the tenderness of his welcome, the touch of his healing presence bring the comfort we desire. Only God’s promises of purpose in this life and perfection in the life to come offer us real hope to hold on to.
We can find the same comfort Job found in the midst of utter despair. Despite our feelings of hopelessness and discouragement, we can hold on to God’s promises, hold on to what we know about who He is and how he works. Even though it is difficult because we don’t understand and it is so dark we cannot see to put one foot in front of the other, we can choose to cling and hang on, to keep trusting, and to keep believing God’s word.
Luke, my precious child, getting leukemia and passing away when he was 10 years old was definitely not the path we chose, but it is the pathway God set before us. So here in the dark, we will co to us to walk this journey trusting God every step of the way. We are guided by a deep desire to please God and by a year of to discover the heart of God. He had a reason and a plan for everything and it is never small. We believe he is taking us to places we could never imagine and praying he uses Luke’s loss to fulfill his purpose in us. I pray he would continue to change and mold us to who he wants us to be. I pray he will use our hurt and pain to glorify him. I pray he will use our situation to reach millions of people and change many lives. God is in control and we have to continue to lean on him and surrender our lives to him.
In the midst of your hopelessness, would you search for the simple joy of pleasing God and begin to see the clouds lift from your life and begin to see the sun shine once again?
In spite of your questions and confusion about God’s goodness, would you hold firm in believing God’s Word, which tells us he is our refuge and strength?
Will you be determined to keep praying and reading God’s Word in the midst of despair until he brings you from the darkness into the light?
Even the darkness will not be dark to you
Psalm 139:12 (NIV)
