Children’s Medical Center

I never want to leave the hospital

Since Luke passed away on May 24th, we have been back to the hospital 3 times. Each time we go it becomes a little easier but every time I see the exit to Medical District Drive, I can feel my heart beat loudly in my chest and anxiety comes over me. As we drive down Medical District Drive and then we stop at the light where we used to turn right into the green parking garage, the tears start to flow. Why? Maybe because either Luke was with us in the car or I would be about to park and get out to go see Luke. But now, there is not a room at Children’s where Luke will be and there is an empty sit in the backseat of our car where Luke used to sit It’s a very empty feeling. This is where Luke received all this chemo treatments, his central line and then his port, spinal taps, bone marrow biopsies, bone marrow transplant, and where they told me they had no further treatment for Luke. This is where Luke spent is last hours, this is where we spent our last hours with Luke. 

This hospital is where I met so many wonderful caring people who did everything they could to treat Luke. This hospital is where I was introduced to childhood cancer. I learned that kids get sick and die from this awful disease. 

The 6th floor of Children’s Medical Center became my home. We spent about 6 months at this hospital, 30 days at a time with a week or 2 in between. It’s where Luke taught me so much. He became stronger and more wise everyday. He made the best out of everyday. 

I am so blessed to have spent so many hours with Luke. I was forced to get to know him better than I would have ever known him. Being stuck in a little room for hours and hours a day, you do not have any other choice but to spend time with one another. 

I have so many memories at Children’s medical Center. Some are sad but most are happy. They are memories I will treasure forever. I loved playing Nerf guns with Luke, making homemade slime, playing the bottle flip game, watching you tube videos, spraying silly string, walking up and down the halls looking out the windows at the pigeons on the roof, having remote control car races, riding the ezyrollers, dressing up and giving out candy to all the kids and nurses on Halloween, making crafts, playing xbox 360, playing basketball, meeting famous people, going on many walks to the vending machines, playing with fidget spinners, making Snapchat videos,playing laser tag, and having movie marathons. There was never a dull moment. 

Luke also loved to go visit with the nurses at the nurses station. He would show off his Snapchat videos and have them come in his room to play the PlayStation VR headset. He would also have nerf wars and race them in the ezyrollers down the hallway. 

It is also where Luke and I rode the ambulance the night before he passed away. He was able to get his favorite nurse Brittany for the last time. It is also where after Luke passed away, I had more support than I could ever ask for. Everyone of the nurses, doctors, child life specialists, and PA’s came in to hug us and support us during such a difficult time. 

It’s where the child life specialist came in a took Luke’s handprints for us, which was such a special moment. It’s where they helped me clean Luke’s bloody nose and fingernails. They helped me clean him up perfectly. I even fixed what little hair he had. 

It’s where after Luke passed away I held him for six hours rubbing his head and kissing his cheek. And when I was ready to leave, they covered him in a quilt that one of the nurses made with sweet sayings and scriptures. They all rode down on the elevator with us to leave Luke in the family room before we left the hospital. That was the hardest day to leave Children’s Medical Center. It’s where I have never laughed so hard but never cried so much and hard in my life. 

Although it is hard to go to the hospital, it’s also hard to leave. I feel like a part of Luke is still there because it was his second home as well as ours.