In the past, I kept a prayer journal and in those journals were a lot of prayers about my boys. Every day, I released Jake and Luke into His hands so that He could accomplish His will for their lives. I would pray that as a mother, I would only do the 
possible and trust God with the impossible. I daily placed my children at the cross, at the feet of Jesus asking God to have His way and His will in their lives. I prayed for His way, not mine. But you think that His way can only be something good, something wonderful.
Job 2:10 But Job replied, “ Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never accept anything bad?”
I have noticed that very few people go through life without some type of suffering. I had not known a lot of sorrow in my life which was a blessing.
I can remember the first gut-wrenching tragedy was when my dog Buster was run over by a car. I had him for 5 years but he was like a child to me. I remember thinking, how does anyone get over losing their child? Then I lost my husband’s grandfather who was such an extraordinary and tender man. Later, a loss that was difficult was the death of my Dad. But none of these compared to the loss of my 10-year-old son, Luke. This is a suffering I have never known and still wish I didn’t know. But before Luke, I had not had much sorrow in my life.
We do not invite difficulty in our lives. It is usually thrust upon us. I think, well I always have, most of us try to avoid suffering if we can. We expect a cure for every illness or disease and a fix for every failure. We are always shocked when things don’t go our way and hardships come. However, if we look at scriptures, we find that it is hard to find a person no matter how Godly they are that didn’t suffer greatly.
Job went through so much suffering and yet it didn‘t seem to waiver his faith or catch him off guard. When his wife wanted him to completely give up on life because of his great suffering, Job said to her, ” Should we only accept good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?”
We have an unspoken expectation that God will bring only what we consider good things in our lives. We never expect him to allow or even bring difficulty into our lives. But he does. We believe that because Job was so faithful and Godly he should have been spared from pain. But often people who follow God suffer—not less but more. If during your suffering you seek God, you will be marked with a beauty, a deepening transformation. If not you will become bitter and empty.
Some of us say, ” God does not willingly torment or afflict his children,” That is correct.
For men are not cast off by the LORD forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love.
For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.
Lamentations 3:31-33 (NIV)
This does not mean any suffering for God‘s children. This means he will not allow meaningless suffering. If God has allowed suffering into your life, it is for a purpose. We want to cry out to heaven to take it away. But if we know that God has allowed suffering into our lives for a purpose, we can embrace it head on, instead of running away from it, and we can seek God with all of our hearts in the midst of our suffering. Accepting what has happened and what we are going through drives us deeper in our relationship and devotion.
Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver‘s seat—I am. Don‘t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I will show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you?
Luke 9:23-25 (The Message)
Jesus is inviting us to learn from and embrace our suffering. In the lowest days of my grief, I try to remember Hebrews 5:7-9, “During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with the loud cries ad tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him” (NIV)
I know that sometimes God’s plan includes suffering and death but it helps me to know that Jesus wrestled with that plan even though he submitted to it. Jesus understands what it is like to cry out to the Father, who has the power to make another way, enact another plan….but chooses not to.
The Cross, is the ultimate example of God’s ability to work all things together for good.
Surely if God would require such intense suffering of his own Son, whom he loved, to accomplish a holy purpose, he has a purpose for our pain.
So in this journey, I am saying to God, ” If I have to go through this, then give me everything. Teach me, mold me, and use me. I know God has a purpose for not healing Luke here on earth and allowing this pain into my life and that is for not only my good for the good of many others. Jesus, help me to embrace this pain.
Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance if fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.
James 1:2-4
